Category Archives: Humor

Tough New Years Day

In the spirit of making you feel better about your situation…. I thought I’d share our monster of a New Years Day.

Awaiting the “New Year”, we have a lapse in attention of our newest member of the Bully crew. Jackson is still learning house manners, and will absolutely flip out at unexpected sounds late at night. Of course, when he does that, it can set off a scuffle, if I’m not right on top of it. Of course, I wasn’t. So at approximately 11:55, we ring in the new year with a dog fight. Ugh.

Not the end of the world. We’re pretty experienced with these things. Within a few minutes, we have it all back under control. No injuries. No lasting grudges. The pack is peaceful shortly after. But….. Bummer way to ring in the year.

So…. Later that morning I have 3 of the 4 pups in the truck, running errands. Beautiful day. Lovely drive. The day was starting to look up. Until, a sheet of icy snow flipped off the vehicle in front of me and smashed into my windshield. This scared the holy shit out of all of us. I did manage to not drive off the road…. So there’s that. And even though there was no scuffle because of the scare…. It made everyone pretty freaked out. So, no damage… But seeming like one of those days.

Like I said, I had 3 of the 4. My wife had the 4th. She was salvaging the stressful day by hanging out at her moms. Of course, when she let our dog out to pee….. He see’s a deer just outside the yard. Of course, he goes smashing out of the yard and through the woods behind their property. Oh, did I mention this was just before dark….. And it’s the coldest night we’ve had all winter.

Now, we have these Garmin GPS collars:

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They are awesome! They show you real time, where the dogs are on a gps unit. You can track them. You can go get them if you need to. The new models have a tone, that you can recall them with. You can track up to ten dogs. They are really amazing tools if you’re gonna be in the woods. The sense of confidence, and comfort they give you are really phenomenal…..

Yes, they’re expensive. But the piece of mind they give is worth it. That’s why we have one for each dog.

Of course, the downside to these things are….. YOU MUST PUT THEM ON THE DOG!

Son. Of. A. Bitch.

Yep. Since Mandy was just letting him out the back door to pee, and NOT going on a woodland excursion…. he was just wearing his house collar.

So, three hoursĀ  or so later as they scour the woods in arctic gear and finally go back to the house….. Milo (the little escapee) is sitting at the back door, just waiting to be let back in.

He was a little cut up from the chase, but nothing significant.

It’s about 9pm now, and I think we may be done with this “New Years Day From Hell”.

Now, lest you think I’m just whining, I’m not.

I like to think I have some of the tenacity of these dogs. It takes more than one shit day to stop me in my tracks!

I’m not telling you this to bitch. I’m telling you because this is a blog for people with “difficult” dogs.

“Difficult” dogs come with days like these. Maybe this will make you feel like your day wasn’t quite so bad.

Maybe, seeing someone else have a fiasco, and not completely shut down, makes it easier for you to keep your head up with nightmare New Year story.

Missed Thanksgiving Because Of The Dog

Listen, I’m not bagging on you. I was you. Hell, I AM you.

We can’t leave town. Not unless we take an RV and put all five dogs in that bad boy!

Look, I know there are a lot of people out there who are totally bummed today because they had to tell their family they couldn’t come to Thanksgiving……. Because of the dog.

It’s a brutal situation. You can’t take Sparky to the boarding place cause he get’s pissy with people he doesn’t know. Especially if they act scared. And, you can’t ask anyone to come over and watch him because when you aren’t there, he just paces, and barks, and drives everyone nuts. Of course, he does like your sister….. But she’s going to Thanksgiving.

So, here you sit, with your piece of shit Hungryman turkey dinner.

And your dog.

Who you love…… And, who you’re really, really annoyed at.

Next time call us. We’ll come over and handle you’re little bundle of difficult.

And you, can see your family.

Happy Thanksgiving.

CaniCross &….. Whitewater Safety?

Um…. Ok.

What the hell do those two things have to do with each other?

Turns out, the what to do when all hell breaks loose is pretty much the same for both.

When I went rafting a long time ago, one of the safety tips they gave was, “if you fall out of the boat; try to go down river face up, and feet first!”

Yesterday I was running a team of two bullies, who (between the two of them) weighed about 150 lbs, and can pull around 3,000-4,000 lbs! I had them at Poland Springs Preservation Park. Which is an awesome place for reactive dogs. The trails are super cool! And to top it off….. there’s almost no one ever there! It’s so dead, that I’m not even gonna hotlink it to a map like I usually would, cause I don’t want to run into you with the goobers I take there!

But, I digress…..

On the trail, these two monsters were helping me pick up speed going DOWN a hill, and I hit a patch of mud hidden just under a layer of wet leaves. After sliding like 10 feet and flapping my arms like a bird didn’t work……. I remembered my whitewater safety course. So yeah, Nestea Plunge I went.

And just like in whitewater safety it took like 50 yards before I came to a stop! Yeah….. They pulled my down the hill with me making a high speed mud angel.

Now, to their credit they probably would’ve stopped sooner, but it took me like 40 yards to stop laughing uncontrollably at the absurdity of the whole thing.

So, remember….. In whitewater safety AND in Canicross, feet first & face up!

A Little Sunday Humor

We were supposed to foster Jax. Yeah….. That didn’t work. He’s staying. His new Grandmother didn’t want us to bring him over, because she didn’t want to get too attached. But once we decided to adopt him. The next step was introducing him to his Grandparents.

This was taken when we told Jax he was going to Grandma’s for the first time. Don’t know about you guys, but Grandma’s house and “rules, boundaries, and limitations” are mutually exclusive. It’s like taking a kid to Chucky Cheese. He was in heaven. I am told this is what Grandmas are for.